Demystifying EMDR

When I first heard of EMDR it felt a bit mysterious, as if there was a curtain that was hiding the trap doors and pulleys therapists use to create healing. It wasn’t until I got trained in EMDR that I began to understand the science behind the ‘magic.’ If you are anything like me and want to peak behind the curtain, read on and I will do my best to give you a basic understanding of what EMDR is, how it works, and what you can expect to see in therapy.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a type of therapy that was originally developed as a treatment for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). You may be thinking, “but I don’t have PTSD” and that is totally fair. You don’t have to have experienced a capital ‘T’ trauma (a near death experience or witnessing actual or near death) to benefit from EMDR. It can help with almost any experience that reinforces a negative belief—such as I am unsafe, I am unloved, or I am worthless. If you do have those big ‘T’ traumas, that’s okay! Like I said, EMDR was made for that stuff.

If you are still curious if EMDR may be a good fit for you, go read Trista’s blog Is EMDR Right for You? 5 Signs to Consider.

When you experience a trauma, your brain goes into survival mode and the part of your brain that is responsible for processing memories shuts off (you don’t need that to survive). When this happens your brain then takes a “snapshot” of everything that is going on right now to be processed later. That “snapshot” includes all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, physical sensations, and even what you were thinking/feeling. This is why you can sometimes recall scary events so vividly with all the sensations that you were experiencing in that moment. Problems arise when that “snapshot” never gets reprocessed.

When that “snapshot” doesn’t get reprocessed, your brain keeps reacting to stimuli that reminds you, sometimes on the subconscious level, a threat is still happening—even when it’s not. These stimuli are what we call ‘Triggers.’

Triggers can be anything—an image, a tone of voice, a smell, or even a feeling in your body—that unconsciously reminds your brain of the original trauma. The tricky part is that you might not recognize the connection right away, because the response feels automatic. You’re not choosing to panic or shut down; your nervous system is reacting to a threat it thinks is still real. EMDR helps the brain finally file that old “snapshot” away, so those triggers lose their power.

Commonly these memories aren’t reprocessed because instead of learning that we are safe now, we experience similar events that reinforce the original fear rather than correcting it. EMDR works by using bilateral stimulation (BLS), activation of the left and right side of your brain in sequence at certain frequency, to activate the part of your brain that will reprocess the events. This is the same part of your brain that is responsible for REM sleep.

Have you ever wondered why some people get recurring nightmares? In REM sleep the brain is trying to reprocess and learn how to manage and handle difficult scenarios or events that we have actually lived. Instead of leaving it up to chance, EMDR is a way to activate this part of your brain while you are awake and can intentionally make connections in an adaptive way.

Now, to give you an idea of what to expect, I would like to share the EMDR sequence and the steps that you will see if you are to do EMDR in therapy.

Step 1: History-Taking & Treatment Planning

We start by getting to know your story—past experiences, current struggles, and the symptoms or patterns you're dealing with. This helps identify potential target memories for reprocessing.

However, we are NOT going to make you regurgitate every detail of every trauma. Doing that can actually, in some cases, re-traumatize you (we don’t want that). We just try to get an overview of what you are looking to work on and the general headline to some of your life shaping events. We will also complete some assessments to ensure EMDR is a good fit for you or determine what steps need to be taken before the desensitization phase, if any.

Step 2: Preparation

Before we jump into anything intense, we focus on building your coping skills. We will work on grounding and regulation strategies to make sure you feel safe and in control during the process. We will complete a few exercises together in what we like to call “happy” EMDR where we will be developing resources, using slow bilateral stimulation, for you to use throughout treatment.

Step 3: Assessment

Here, we choose a specific target memory and identify the negative belief attached to it (such as ‘I am unsafe’) and what you’d like to believe instead (such as ‘I am in control now’). We also explore associated emotions, body sensations, and distress level.

Step 4: Desensitization

This is where the reprocessing happens. While holding the memory in mind, we activate your brain using fast bilateral stimulation. This could be with eye movements, tapping, or sound, but we usually use tapping because it is typically easier to do overall. Over time, the distress around the memory decreases and the memory should “sting” a little less. It is important to note that we are not changing the past, and the memories and trauma will still exist. We are not going to make it okay, but we will work to make it more manageable for you so that it doesn’t get in the way of other aspects of your life.

Step 5: Installation

Once the distress goes down, we strengthen the positive belief you want to hold instead. We keep doing BLS while you focus on this new belief, helping it "stick."

Step 6: Body Scan

Trauma lives in the body. So we will have you mentally ‘scan’ your body for any residual tension or sensations linked to the memory and clear those too.

Step 7: Closure

Each session ends by bringing you back to a calm, grounded state—whether or not the memory has been fully reprocessed. The goal is that you leave feeling safe and stable.

Step 8: Reevaluation

At your next session, we check back in on the target memory to see how you’re feeling about it now. Commonly, more processing will occur in between sessions too. Your brain is smart, and once it starts healing, it sometimes finds ways to keep healing on its own. However, if there is still more to process, we keep going. If not, we move to the next target memory, and the next, until we get through them all or you achieve the relief you were looking for.

Final Thoughts

EMDR isn’t magic—but it often feels like it. By engaging your brain’s natural ability to heal, we can untangle memories that once felt overwhelming, so they no longer run the show.

Trauma can show up in our bodies, thoughts, and relationships. Whether you're working through trauma alone or navigating how it is affecting your partnership, EMDR offers a pathway to relief.

If you’re curious about whether EMDR might be right for you, I’d love to talk with you. I specialize in working with individuals and couples healing from trauma, and I’m here to help you find clarity, connection, and peace.

Want to learn more or schedule a session?

Reach out through our contact page and we will be in touch with you!